Updated: Nov 14, 2018
Lordy lord, Dubai is an expensive place to hang one’s hat. When you live in Dubai, you can vacate to almost anywhere, and actually save money. You know that face you make when you do a disgusting shot of tequila? That’s me at the cash register. A couple of f*cking blueberries? That’ll be 10 f*cking Dollars please. What the fuckerty fuck? It’s like being stung by a wasp – it doesn’t kill you, but boy does it hurt. Someone told me they spent 25 Dirhams on a small pot of yoghurt the other day. 8.5 Dollars for a small pot of Greek Yog, are you having a laugh? Some supermarche’s charge 3, 4… hold your breath. No.. Hold your danglies, FIVE TIMES the price of the same item back home. 500 HUNDRED PERCENT!!! Thank God we’re “tax free” – haha!
Great products are rare, but a great product that saves you money? Now that is rarer than a hair-dried steak.
Our most expensive Food Box is 400 Dirhams per week. That’s 10 clean meals, and 5 days of food. I put it to you that you would struggle to beat 400 Dizzlers for 5 days of food. I will now take a moment to blast the first potential objection out of the water.
How can 10 meals represent 5 days of food? This is the beauty of the Food Box – it encourages you to eat less. And unless you’re underweight, anorexic, a bodybuilder, or a combination thereof, eating less is something we can all benefit from. If you’re thinking: “I couldn’t possibly survive on 2 meals a day,” riddle me this: how do the 1 billion Muslims get on when they fast during Ramadan? They struggle in the first few days, right? After that it’s no big deal, right? Am I right, or am I right, or am I RIGHT? Ramadan is the world’s largest empirical study that proves: THE BODY ADAPTS TO LESS FOOD EXTREMELY QUICKLY. You’ve trained your body to expect 3 meals a day, so how many times a day do you get hungry. Those morbidly obese men you see in American theme parks eat 5 or 6 times a day. Why? Because they have trained themselves to do so. If you can train it up, you can train it down. Hey, there is a new way, and it’s called 2 meals a day. Yay?
I took the Challenge last month, and ate 2 meals per day from the box.
So let’s talk economics.
If you eat breakfast and dinner at home, a typical day of food for you cost you: 20 Dizzlers for breakfast, 40 Dizzlers for lunch (eating out), and 40 Dizzlers for dinner. And we both know I am lowballing those numbers. Those are the absolute bare minimum, and they equate to 100 Dirhams per day. The Food Box is 80 Dirhams per day.
Now let’s get a little more granular. Do you really hold your lunch bill under AED40 Dirhams a day? (A sparkling water is 15-20 Dirhams babe). Let’s be honest – it’s likely going north. I am not the only greedy little piggy, (nor will I run all the way home) but I can easily munch my way through 80 Dizzlers for a sit-down lunch. That’s 400 Dirhams a week, on lunch. The Food Box is 400 for ALL MY FOOD. I saved an absolute fortune last month.
Another consideration is that this is a take-away culture. When there’s nothing appealing in the fridge, we pick up the phone. Not only is delivered food more likely to be unhealthy, but it also blows our budget to smithereens. Be honest, you dial in at least once week, right? When our little bags of deliciousness are waiting for you in the fridge, you never need to place that call.
Further more, have you ever walked into Spinneys and dropped a few hundred Dirhams on things that didn’t even fill up a carrier bag? We all have babe. Yoghurts are almost 10 BUCKS!!!! If you Food Box, you do not Spinney.
Whichever way you cut it, the Food Box saves you money. Problem is… the food is crap:
I get a Food Box once per week, and it has cut my food bill by 60%. This is obviously multo bueno, but every yin has a yang, and there are a number of penalties you have to pay to get these savings.
You don’t waste 3 hours of your weekend in supermarkets.
You never waste any food.
You can’t overeat because your meals are portioned.
You never run out of clean recipes because there are 40 per month in the Food Box.
You will eat a wider variety of fruits and vegetables than at any other time in your life.
If you can suffer these downsides, get yourself a Food Box – it will save you money.
PS – If you want to book a Box, email firstname.lastname@example.org
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